What a week! I am home and so glad to sitting on my couch drinking a Dogfish Head beer and just listening to some tunes. I got home threw in some laundry, took a shower, and now am just waiting for my bestest friend Hannah to arrive via bus! I just can't wait! Even though this week was long and exhausting, I am looking forward to catching up in with Hannah. We have not seen each other in like 6 months which is crazy. Even though we talk at least once a week, it's just not the same as spending time together. Not sure what we are going to do but it really does not matter.
So...because this post can't be just about my boring and monotonous post flight routine, I want to tell you about my song of the week. It is Winter Song sung by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson and is on the Hotel Cafe presents Winter Songs. There is just something about Winter Song that resonates with me. The song has a sad overtone and seems to be about a girl who has lost her lover. The words create this cold bare landscape image in my mind and it's definitely snowing. I encourage you to check it out. The album is not bad and you might like it if you are looking for an alternative twist to the traditional Christmas carols.
I think I had some deep thoughts during my plane ride but they are all mush in my brain. I am off to Ohio next week. AND I learned that Sunny California is in my future this winter! So excited....I will get to see my niece and maybe even swing by San Francisco to see my friends. I can't wait...I love my job!
Friday, November 14, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
There is a War Going On
Actually, I was aware of the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts prior to this week. And no, I have not been hiding under a rock, but it was not until yesterday, when I heard my friend was being mobilized by the Army. He completed his service and been out for a little over a year and now he's received orders to report back sometime in January. If all is in order, he will most likely be shipped off to Iraq or Afghanistan by the middle of February.
For various reasons this news has had a significant impact on me over the last 24 hours. Most of these feelings reside in the fact that this war has finally knocked on my door if you will. No one in my family and none of my close friends have been involved in these conflicts at this point. I have been a distant observer who was able to become involved at will through watching the nightly news, reading the newspaper, or what have you. This is all about to change.
I do not think it is fair (I realize that life is not fair) that the Army can mobilize someone who enlisted, served his time and was discharged. I do not think it is fair that this individual has to uproot his life, quit his job, give up his apartment, leave his friends and risk his life after spending the last year establishing himself back in the civilian world. I understand that he realized the consequences when he enlisted but still! I also think the final straw for me is that my friend is gay and is now going to be fighting for a country that does not recognize this or grant him the right to marry. With all of this pent up anger, I feel helpless and don't know what to do or really how to react. For me and my generation there is really nothing to compare this too; we have been privileged.
These random emotions and my friend's situation have led me to focus on the lesser of the three wars currently evolving. Maybe the war against Proposition 8 is a fight that I can help win. I don't have the courage to go to war with gun but I have the responsibility to fight for what is right. Wouldn't it be nice for him to return in 15 months and have gained more than just freedom for the Iraqis and the Afghans. I really think we can win this...it will just take time, money and people.
Along that note, it turns out that there is going to be a protest march this Saturday in DC. People will marching from the Capitol to the White House. I think this is a good way to ended a pretty emotional week and plan to participate. It's time for the Gay community to organize and fight as a united front for the rights that should be legally ours. It seems that with so much hate in the world that we, the residents of the land of the free, should allow love to happen between anyone.
So tonight in the effort to calm my angry and distract my thoughts, I am going to pray for peace in world and the spread of love between all people. It's what I can do from my hotel room and what I will continue to do until we can resolve these conflicts and realize that we all want the same thing: peace, love, and happiness.
For various reasons this news has had a significant impact on me over the last 24 hours. Most of these feelings reside in the fact that this war has finally knocked on my door if you will. No one in my family and none of my close friends have been involved in these conflicts at this point. I have been a distant observer who was able to become involved at will through watching the nightly news, reading the newspaper, or what have you. This is all about to change.
I do not think it is fair (I realize that life is not fair) that the Army can mobilize someone who enlisted, served his time and was discharged. I do not think it is fair that this individual has to uproot his life, quit his job, give up his apartment, leave his friends and risk his life after spending the last year establishing himself back in the civilian world. I understand that he realized the consequences when he enlisted but still! I also think the final straw for me is that my friend is gay and is now going to be fighting for a country that does not recognize this or grant him the right to marry. With all of this pent up anger, I feel helpless and don't know what to do or really how to react. For me and my generation there is really nothing to compare this too; we have been privileged.
These random emotions and my friend's situation have led me to focus on the lesser of the three wars currently evolving. Maybe the war against Proposition 8 is a fight that I can help win. I don't have the courage to go to war with gun but I have the responsibility to fight for what is right. Wouldn't it be nice for him to return in 15 months and have gained more than just freedom for the Iraqis and the Afghans. I really think we can win this...it will just take time, money and people.
Along that note, it turns out that there is going to be a protest march this Saturday in DC. People will marching from the Capitol to the White House. I think this is a good way to ended a pretty emotional week and plan to participate. It's time for the Gay community to organize and fight as a united front for the rights that should be legally ours. It seems that with so much hate in the world that we, the residents of the land of the free, should allow love to happen between anyone.
So tonight in the effort to calm my angry and distract my thoughts, I am going to pray for peace in world and the spread of love between all people. It's what I can do from my hotel room and what I will continue to do until we can resolve these conflicts and realize that we all want the same thing: peace, love, and happiness.
Monday, November 10, 2008
I made it...thoughts racing
What a day...left my home at 6:30 am and 11 hours later I get to my hotel room in Oklahoma. It's been a long day full of more holiday tunes, some sadness, some laughter and some anger. Maybe I was on a roller coaster...
My drive from Tulsa was probably the most enjoyable. Oklahoma is not the deserted prairie that I thought it was going to be. I have been lucky to watch this area change seasons. My favorite part of the two hour drive is along Lake Eufaula. Over the last two months I have seen the greenest of greens and the bluest of water. Today I saw orange grass. As a New Englander I believe that Maine and it's counterparts have the best fall foliage but I think that Oklahoma has the best fall grasses. The orange and yellows and burnt ambers were really probably some of the most beautiful things that I have seen in awhile. I would have stopped to snap some photos but the rain and the wind stopped me from venturing out. To add to this scenery were the herds of cows and the rolling hills. This city boy was almost in heaven.
The thoughts that ran though my head were kinda random. I mean I am on the road for the next 7 weeks and there are two major holidays in there. This year is going to be different. My family is breaking some traditions and mixing it up a bit with the present exchange. We are drawing names and going to go shopping for the presents days before Christmas. It will be fun but also different and maybe a culture shift for my family. I was all for abandoning the presents but I guess the question is, "What do you do on Christmas morning if you don't have presents??" I could not come up with any ideas. However, today as I was lamenting the fact that I would not be decorating my house and that I might not have time to make the dozens of cookies that I did last year stirred some ideas of alternative ways to celebrate the holidays.
I mean there are so many families out there who have not had the opportunity to experience "The Family Christmas." It really is an event...and maybe it was the upbringing and this extravaganza that has cause me to love and enjoy the spirit of the holiday. As a side, it is not like we ever received cars under the tree or ran off to the Caribbean for the holiday. The Christmases of my youth were filled with love, warmth, family, friends, food, a day in one's pajamas and the birth of Christ. So...all this reminiscing got me thinking that I should have more an impact on my community. I know that I don't have much time but I do have time to give back. I am going to find an organization to volunteer with...whether is it a food kitchen or a shelter or a Saturday tutoring program. I have time and I can make time to help thoughts. How does this relate to Christmas and the holidays? The gifts that I can gift are not necessarily tied to monetary or materialistic offerings.
The plane is a great place for thinking. I find that I do some of my best thinking on the plane. I make lists, listen to my Ipod, watch the clouds and make plans to change my life. Other thoughts that came to mind: I need to sign up for my next marathon, I need to find a place to volunteer, I need to make more time to see my friends...
My drive from Tulsa was probably the most enjoyable. Oklahoma is not the deserted prairie that I thought it was going to be. I have been lucky to watch this area change seasons. My favorite part of the two hour drive is along Lake Eufaula. Over the last two months I have seen the greenest of greens and the bluest of water. Today I saw orange grass. As a New Englander I believe that Maine and it's counterparts have the best fall foliage but I think that Oklahoma has the best fall grasses. The orange and yellows and burnt ambers were really probably some of the most beautiful things that I have seen in awhile. I would have stopped to snap some photos but the rain and the wind stopped me from venturing out. To add to this scenery were the herds of cows and the rolling hills. This city boy was almost in heaven.
The thoughts that ran though my head were kinda random. I mean I am on the road for the next 7 weeks and there are two major holidays in there. This year is going to be different. My family is breaking some traditions and mixing it up a bit with the present exchange. We are drawing names and going to go shopping for the presents days before Christmas. It will be fun but also different and maybe a culture shift for my family. I was all for abandoning the presents but I guess the question is, "What do you do on Christmas morning if you don't have presents??" I could not come up with any ideas. However, today as I was lamenting the fact that I would not be decorating my house and that I might not have time to make the dozens of cookies that I did last year stirred some ideas of alternative ways to celebrate the holidays.
I mean there are so many families out there who have not had the opportunity to experience "The Family Christmas." It really is an event...and maybe it was the upbringing and this extravaganza that has cause me to love and enjoy the spirit of the holiday. As a side, it is not like we ever received cars under the tree or ran off to the Caribbean for the holiday. The Christmases of my youth were filled with love, warmth, family, friends, food, a day in one's pajamas and the birth of Christ. So...all this reminiscing got me thinking that I should have more an impact on my community. I know that I don't have much time but I do have time to give back. I am going to find an organization to volunteer with...whether is it a food kitchen or a shelter or a Saturday tutoring program. I have time and I can make time to help thoughts. How does this relate to Christmas and the holidays? The gifts that I can gift are not necessarily tied to monetary or materialistic offerings.
The plane is a great place for thinking. I find that I do some of my best thinking on the plane. I make lists, listen to my Ipod, watch the clouds and make plans to change my life. Other thoughts that came to mind: I need to sign up for my next marathon, I need to find a place to volunteer, I need to make more time to see my friends...
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Life Happens.
Life is complicated. Life is short. Life is...I am becoming well acquainted with the punches. I am getting use to the idea of surprises. I am learning to accept the unexpected. I am growing from disappointment. I am working on being more flexible in a non-yoga sense. I am working to try to be more comfortable with myself. I am working on prioritizing what is important to me and who is important to me. I am trying to be the best person I can be to all people.
None of these are very powerful statements or even enlightening statements but what the hell. I am sitting on my couch listening to Christmas music (yes, Christmas has come early to Apt. 304) and thinking about the week ahead of me. I am back on the road and will be for the next 7 weeks. I loaded up my Ipod with the Holiday Tunes just so that when I found myself in Cleveland for Turkey day I would be ready! So back to the statements...as I missed my "birthday reflection" post because I was in the Maine woods. I am using this post to reflect on the year...where I have been and where I am going.
Over the last few months, I have been traveling. Traveling a lot and loving it. Spending time in lots of Red States, watching a lot of bad political ads, and hearing different opinions on the election and the issues. It was almost like I was on the campaign trail minus the stump speeches. I was miserable in the office and really don't ever see myself going back to being a desk jockey. It is just not for me. I don't mind the suitcases and the hotels. I do mind the crappy hotel gyms and the often poor food choices but I really do like my job.
I took a leap of faith on this job...left my comfort zone and a secure job to do something different and unexpected. I knew this job was going to push my limits and it has some days. I have learned so much about myself, people, and maybe a little bit about software. I took another leap of faith on buying a house in a city that I love...most of the time. I can't believe that I have been here a year. I can't believe that I survived the refrigerator crisis and am saving to remodel my kitchen...how responsible and exciting. A few other leaps include training and running a marathon...being honest with myself...exploring the dating world trying to find a good fit. Which leads me to thinking that it is time for another leap of faith...coming out as a gay man and coming out about my anger that Proposition 8 passed and the fact that my community has been pushed one step backwards.
I am angry and upset not because I am ready to rush to the alter but because my country has taken a religious perspective on marriage that is actually a right of the State. It is a State marriage license that entitles heterosexuals to marital freedom, but the opponents are putting a religious twist on it and blurring the fuzzy line that separates Church and State. Though election day was a great day in many ways, the Gay Agenda took several steps backwards not only in CA but also in Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida. How is it that in the land of the free and the home of the brave people do not have the right to love and to marry anyone they chose?
In Germany, everyone gets married in the "court house" and then if they chose they get married in a church. Here we get married wherever we want and get a document from the State but because most couples get married in a church there is the association that marriage is a "right of the Church" when in fact it is a "right of the State." The Gay community is not asking to be married in churches, we are asking for the right of the State...the right to be married. We are not asking for our relationships to be sanctified by God and the church community. We are asking for the right for health insurance, joint taxes, power of attorney, legal rights and the other joys... Why is that so hard for the rest of this country to figure that out? Why can't the State separate itself from the church?
Frustration exists for me on many levels. I think some of it lies with myself and my lack of participation in the fight for equal rights. But also in the fact that it seems wrong that we should have to fight. That it should be granted or allowed without question. Frustration with the fact that I should take action now so that when I do find someone to spend the rest of my life with I will be able to do that and have my relationship recognized by the law.
Life is too short to have regrets. Life is too short for inequality.
None of these are very powerful statements or even enlightening statements but what the hell. I am sitting on my couch listening to Christmas music (yes, Christmas has come early to Apt. 304) and thinking about the week ahead of me. I am back on the road and will be for the next 7 weeks. I loaded up my Ipod with the Holiday Tunes just so that when I found myself in Cleveland for Turkey day I would be ready! So back to the statements...as I missed my "birthday reflection" post because I was in the Maine woods. I am using this post to reflect on the year...where I have been and where I am going.
Over the last few months, I have been traveling. Traveling a lot and loving it. Spending time in lots of Red States, watching a lot of bad political ads, and hearing different opinions on the election and the issues. It was almost like I was on the campaign trail minus the stump speeches. I was miserable in the office and really don't ever see myself going back to being a desk jockey. It is just not for me. I don't mind the suitcases and the hotels. I do mind the crappy hotel gyms and the often poor food choices but I really do like my job.
I took a leap of faith on this job...left my comfort zone and a secure job to do something different and unexpected. I knew this job was going to push my limits and it has some days. I have learned so much about myself, people, and maybe a little bit about software. I took another leap of faith on buying a house in a city that I love...most of the time. I can't believe that I have been here a year. I can't believe that I survived the refrigerator crisis and am saving to remodel my kitchen...how responsible and exciting. A few other leaps include training and running a marathon...being honest with myself...exploring the dating world trying to find a good fit. Which leads me to thinking that it is time for another leap of faith...coming out as a gay man and coming out about my anger that Proposition 8 passed and the fact that my community has been pushed one step backwards.
I am angry and upset not because I am ready to rush to the alter but because my country has taken a religious perspective on marriage that is actually a right of the State. It is a State marriage license that entitles heterosexuals to marital freedom, but the opponents are putting a religious twist on it and blurring the fuzzy line that separates Church and State. Though election day was a great day in many ways, the Gay Agenda took several steps backwards not only in CA but also in Arizona, Arkansas, and Florida. How is it that in the land of the free and the home of the brave people do not have the right to love and to marry anyone they chose?
In Germany, everyone gets married in the "court house" and then if they chose they get married in a church. Here we get married wherever we want and get a document from the State but because most couples get married in a church there is the association that marriage is a "right of the Church" when in fact it is a "right of the State." The Gay community is not asking to be married in churches, we are asking for the right of the State...the right to be married. We are not asking for our relationships to be sanctified by God and the church community. We are asking for the right for health insurance, joint taxes, power of attorney, legal rights and the other joys... Why is that so hard for the rest of this country to figure that out? Why can't the State separate itself from the church?
Frustration exists for me on many levels. I think some of it lies with myself and my lack of participation in the fight for equal rights. But also in the fact that it seems wrong that we should have to fight. That it should be granted or allowed without question. Frustration with the fact that I should take action now so that when I do find someone to spend the rest of my life with I will be able to do that and have my relationship recognized by the law.
Life is too short to have regrets. Life is too short for inequality.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Don't Sign...
So the refrigerator saga continues. After almost of full week of fighting with Home Depot, it turns out that they are basically powerless and are at the will of the appliance companies. Yeah, Home Depot is a puppet that sells appliances on behalf of GE, Maytag, Bosch etc. and after you hand over the money the strings are cut and show is over. All services including delivery are handled by the appliance companies (NOT Home Depot and NOT an independent contractor). And if you sign the delivery confirmation, it's yours and you are powerless...unless you can carry a 250 pound refrigerator down 3 flights of stairs (as in my situation) and return it in person to the store. In my situation, Home Depot has tried to work with GE to get the issue resolved but GE blames me for signing for the product and I blame Home Depot for misrepresenting the product and accept some blame for not refusing the delivery. I also regret making a purchase from a catolgue and for trusting the sale representative.
Basically, I guess I never should have signed for the appliances and I should not have felt bad for the delivery guys and should have made them take both the refrigerator and the stove back to their truck and return my old appliances (including the fridge that no longer worked). I guess I need to look out for my own interests from now on because no one else will. And maybe other people have already learned this but it just seems to me that when a consumer is spending a couple of thousand dollars on any product, there should be some sort of recourse for them and the store should step up to the plate and make the situation right. I am going to have these appliances for at least the next 5 years and the people who live in my condo after me would expect them to last even longer. Beyond cars and furniture, appliances are the next big ticket item that homeowners have to purchase and expect to be happy with and use on a daily basis.
I am still very angry but probably will accept the Home Depot's offer to provide me with about 30% off the fridge. But that to me sounds like they are trying to buy my happiness but I would rather I had the fridge that I thought I was going to get. I have to let them know by Saturday and really not sure what I am going to do.
It is becoming very apparent to me and maybe I am not alone in this situation, but life lessons are often very expensive, cause a great deal of stress and frustration, and remind you that life is not fair and we have to live with the outcomes of our actions. My advice to you and to me is NOT TO SIGN unless you are ABSOLUTELY STATISFIED with the product that was delivered. Regardless of all other factors (including going 4 more days without a refridgerator) consider put your wallet and your happiness before all esle because it's ever person for themselves in today's marketplace.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Life...an update
I was too scared to look at my blog in fear of be forced to realize just how long it has been since I have posted. I know that I am not the best at this and maybe my blog license should be revoked but o'well...
Life is going. I have been office bound for the last 6 weeks and it is driving me crazy! I miss the open road, airport security lines, hotels, diner dives, rental cars, and well the client picking up the bill. Life is expensive when you have to pay for everything yourself. Haha...don't get me wrong the first few weeks were great as I got to see my friends, go to a few happy hours, get back into swimming and just be home but now it is time to get the show back on the road.
The big events of the past few weeks are that my refrigerator died and I had to get a new one...there is more drama involved in this story but I have already verbalized the story a few times and it still makes my heart race so all I will say here is that Home Depot SUCKS and either they fix the problem or they will be hearing from a higher being! For real, nothing I do it ever easy and often costs a lot of money and involves just a healthy dose of stress. But I will be ok.
I have been to the movies a few times...saw Christine Vicky Barcelona...great flick; beautifully shot and just great character development. House Bunny...good but you can rent it and still have a good laugh. Pineapple Express...if you need to laugh then just go to this as I think my face still hurts. Batman...overrated?? Brideshead Revisit...I was so born in the wrong century and the wrong country for that matter...if you are a Jane Austin fan than you will really enjoy this beautiful period piece. Bottle Shock...good but you can rent it.
Well I guess that is really the update...back to work
Life is going. I have been office bound for the last 6 weeks and it is driving me crazy! I miss the open road, airport security lines, hotels, diner dives, rental cars, and well the client picking up the bill. Life is expensive when you have to pay for everything yourself. Haha...don't get me wrong the first few weeks were great as I got to see my friends, go to a few happy hours, get back into swimming and just be home but now it is time to get the show back on the road.
The big events of the past few weeks are that my refrigerator died and I had to get a new one...there is more drama involved in this story but I have already verbalized the story a few times and it still makes my heart race so all I will say here is that Home Depot SUCKS and either they fix the problem or they will be hearing from a higher being! For real, nothing I do it ever easy and often costs a lot of money and involves just a healthy dose of stress. But I will be ok.
I have been to the movies a few times...saw Christine Vicky Barcelona...great flick; beautifully shot and just great character development. House Bunny...good but you can rent it and still have a good laugh. Pineapple Express...if you need to laugh then just go to this as I think my face still hurts. Batman...overrated?? Brideshead Revisit...I was so born in the wrong century and the wrong country for that matter...if you are a Jane Austin fan than you will really enjoy this beautiful period piece. Bottle Shock...good but you can rent it.
Well I guess that is really the update...back to work
Sunday, July 13, 2008
...That I am an infrequent blogger
I know, I know. I have good intentions but well it is the action that I need to work on.
It's another lazy Sunday morning; drinking coffee and flipping between HGTV and the Food Network. I know it is a hard life. Later today I am off to Missouri. The good news is that I am home on Wednesday and this looks like it will be my last work trip for the rest of the summer. I have mixed feelings about this but it will be nice to be home and maybe do some projects around the house.
In the last month and a half, I have done a lot of traveling to Missouri, Buffalo and Michigan. Needless to say, I have not been home much. I also went to San Diego to visit my new niece, Claire Rebecca. It is pretty neat to have a niece, especially since I have not spent much time with babies...being the youngest does not allow for that.
I think my one insightful lesson that I have learned recently is that people have a hard time accepting compliments. Something that I have been trying to work on is to offer more compliments to people as well as work on my acceptance of compliments. In my experience, I find my first response to a compliment is to disprove it or refute it. Example, "You're hair looks really good today" and my reply is, "Oh, I did not do anything to it. I need to get a haircut..." and seconds later, "Thanks." I think compliments make people feel uncomfortable and maybe self conscious but this should not be the case. Compliments should boost one's self image and provide a warm fuzzy. I am going to continue to try to be more gracious and just say, "Thank you." I don't think there is really an more that you have to say and it is out of nerves or awkwardness that causes for the refuting reply.
Well, I have to go change my laundry. Maybe we will get better at this however, I am not going to make any promises.
It's another lazy Sunday morning; drinking coffee and flipping between HGTV and the Food Network. I know it is a hard life. Later today I am off to Missouri. The good news is that I am home on Wednesday and this looks like it will be my last work trip for the rest of the summer. I have mixed feelings about this but it will be nice to be home and maybe do some projects around the house.
In the last month and a half, I have done a lot of traveling to Missouri, Buffalo and Michigan. Needless to say, I have not been home much. I also went to San Diego to visit my new niece, Claire Rebecca. It is pretty neat to have a niece, especially since I have not spent much time with babies...being the youngest does not allow for that.
I think my one insightful lesson that I have learned recently is that people have a hard time accepting compliments. Something that I have been trying to work on is to offer more compliments to people as well as work on my acceptance of compliments. In my experience, I find my first response to a compliment is to disprove it or refute it. Example, "You're hair looks really good today" and my reply is, "Oh, I did not do anything to it. I need to get a haircut..." and seconds later, "Thanks." I think compliments make people feel uncomfortable and maybe self conscious but this should not be the case. Compliments should boost one's self image and provide a warm fuzzy. I am going to continue to try to be more gracious and just say, "Thank you." I don't think there is really an more that you have to say and it is out of nerves or awkwardness that causes for the refuting reply.
Well, I have to go change my laundry. Maybe we will get better at this however, I am not going to make any promises.
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